Surviving COVID Valentine's Day in a Casual Relationship

It's hard enough figuring out dating during the pandemic when your relationship status is casual or non-exclusive, but when you add Valentine's Day to the mix,  many people start to feel overwhelmed. The way we see it, there are three courses of action you can take when considering the holiday. 

Options

1. Ignore it!

After all, you aren't in a committed relationship. Isn't Valentine's Day for bona fide couples giving each other romantic gifts? But ignoring the holiday could do more harm than good, since the person you are dating may be looking forward to some special attention, even though your relationship status is casual. It's only natural.

• A recent survey found “Overwhelmingly” that people, whether they were in a romantic relationship or not "would rather spend Valentine’s Day with someone (82%) than alone.”

• 63% say spending time with a person is the most meaningful way to celebrate the holiday (far more than flowers, candy or romantic gifts)
  
  
• With pandemic limitations, it might be easy to ignore V-Day and simply not make plans to get together in person, but COVID restrictions can make ignoring Valentine's Day even worse, as many people long for connection.
  

2. Take the lead and make Valentine plans/surprise your date!

While the majority of people would like to spend the holiday with someone, not everyone has positive feelings about Valentine’s Day. Or they may be offended or upset if you make surprise plans to celebrate it with gifts or a special date since your relationship status is casual.

• The study found that “One-third (33%) of adults feel neutral about Valentine’s Day

• More than one in five (22%) feel indifferent
  
  
• About a quarter of adults (23%) have negative feelings about the holiday, including feeling either lonely, sad, disappointed, annoyed, stressed out, nervous and/or dread”
  
  
• According to Love & Sex’s recent survey, 27% of people think Valentine’s Day is overrated and 21% feel it is too commercial and want to have nothing to do with it.

3.  Communicate, first!

Surveys all point to the fact that even when people are open to celebrating Valentine’s Day, folks vary widely in their expectations for how they would want to celebrate the holiday (date, gift, level of romance expressed, etc.) arising from factors such as past experiences, relationship status, and fear of their intentions being misunderstood or disappointing.

The solution lies in communicating openly ahead of time, so that both people can express expectations and attitudes toward the holiday and share ideas about how to spend the day together.

• Gabrielle Applebury, Sex and relationship therapist with a specialty in communication, says, "We all have expectations, and if we don't share them, they're not going to be met. You can be with your partner for 50 years, but nobody will be able to meet your expectations unless you share them."
  
  
• Talking about Valentine's Day doesn't have to mean talking about the relationship. Keep the conversation low-key and casual. Mention it's coming up and ask if they want to do anything and let them know if you'd like to.
  
  
• Manage your expectations. Understand that everyone has their own expectations and feelings about the holiday, so keep it light. Avoid pressure and listen as well as share your own thoughts.
  
  

With such varying attitudes and feelings about Valentine’s Day, it is important to neither ignore nor assume. The best course of action is to talk about expectations and possibilities ahead of time and decide together what works best for both of you.

When you know you're on the same page and if you are looking for something fun to do for the special day, check out our ideas for deliveries and exchanges, or if you can get together, take it outside for a fun day playing around in nature. Then relax and see where it takes you!